4 jan 2011

the year is not turning out as well. she had to say things that are not true and piss me off. yes i can choose not to be pissed off. but it has happened one too many times. i have had it up to my neck. its spilling out from my guts. there is this burning rage. i just want to burn destroy or hurt myself. i need to cool down.

my heartbreak

the thing that i never expected but fear happened suddenly, suddenly he tells me that he wants freedom. when we first got together, i was still wary and a little unsure but eventually i was moved but him and i grew to love him more and more as time goes by.

i love him for all the little things he does for me, the way he smiles, the way he pouts his lips, the cute noises he makes. i love him for he kid in him, the gentleman that he is.

he says and everyone say that i have done nothing wrong, it is all his fault.

if i am not at fault, why am i the one being punished.

The Choices

We all have choices and decisions that we need to make in our lives, there are times when some of us claims that the path, the decisions and the choices that we make are not what we want but that we are bound in some ways or another to take that path or make the decision.

Is that true? I'd like to think that it is not. I believe that we are responsible for the decisions and choices that we make as well as the path that we choose. Saying that it is because of whichever, whatever and whoever, therefore we have to do something we are not willing to is an irresponsible way of dealing with things.

I am responsible. It is how i enroll people into my decisions, my choices and the path that i have chosen. If this is my life, it is never about another person. It is about me.

bambling

sometimes i wonder about fame and fortune, i have this theory that it goes to people who falls in either 1, 2 or 3 of the category. 1) good looking 2) talented/ smart 3) born into a rich family maybe the rest of us who falls into neither of this category will end up living a mediocre life or lead a less than noticed life somewhere.

so who is the judge of my life? contentment is a wonderful thing when one is overly ambitious and also a weakness for one who has no ambitions at all.. cos maybe they do not strive to improve however what if they are happy with the way things are?

i dunno.. bamble.. is the end of the world really coming in 2 years time? if the world is coming to an end in 2 years time.. what do i intend to do...

date date time

t'm getting old.. seems like yesterday that i was having the time of my life drinking and partying away.. sometimes i think i am not sure at times i think i am sure.. i know what is my final destination... but maybe i dun want to wait.. i want to hurry and speed up the process. i am lost at times, i have no idea what to do when i am in a situation.. sometimes i think i rather be single.. and not be too close... and not be committed.. sometimes i really dun know